The book “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie - Book Summary

You may need to convince your boss that you deserve to get promoted or a pay raise. You may want your kids to eat healthier foods or you may want your partner to please not buy expensive jewellery. We all have these situations where we want to influence other people. Often it ends up with arguments. But there are techniques that can help you to avoid these, in the book “How to win friends and influence people”, written by Dale Carnegie.

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This is one of my favourite books. The author did not try to overemphasize or repeat any concepts in this book and wrote the book with fewer numbers of pages compared with other’s books. I am going to take you through some of the lessons I have learned from the book “How to win friends and influence people”, written by Dale Carnegie.

Lesson – 1: Give what others want

The one way to influence people is to give what they want, talk about what they want, and show them how to get it. As I mentioned earlier, if you want to get promoted or a pay raise, you should explain why it would be in the best interest of your boss. If you want your kids to eat healthier, you should tell him/her why it would be beneficial from his/ her perspective. If you want to persuade your partner not to spend money on expensive jewellery, you should tell why it would be beneficial from her perspective in the sense of having more savings or investments and how it will help her to get financial freedom.

If you start to see things from other’s points of view, you have come a long way towards being more influential. I encourage you to take a minute and think about some situations in your life and how they end up. You definitely came across the same situations you’re your boss, kids, friends, or partner. Next time when you experience the same situation; just try to apply these techniques.

Lesson 2: Give fine reputation to other people

If you want to improve a person’s characteristics, even if he/ she already possesses this characteristic, they will be interested in you. You may have noticed during the school days, normally the naughtiest child would be the class leader. The class teacher's approach was to give a reputation to that child and influence him/ her.

In my previous example, if you give the responsibility to manage your personal finance to your partner, you can influence her by showing how investment is beneficial for her.

Lesson -3: Agree with the point of other people

Even if you win and convince other people that he/she is wrong, it will be difficult to make a good relationship with other people. Instead, you need to agree on the point of the other person and you should explain your point of view on different subjects to make the other person clear indirectly. This is how you can influence people in a hidden way throughout the conversation.

Lesson 4: Present your ideas clearly

It is not enough to merely state the truth – the truth should be realistic. Returning to our previous example again, if you want to get promoted or a pay raise, you would clearly present how you are adding value to the best interest of your boss or what is your plan you have in your mind to bring value to your boss and If you want your child to eat healthier, don’t just tell them that they will become stronger and show them a few role models to prove your ideas.

Lesson – 5: Win friends

In the previous four lessons, we have learned about how to influence people, and in this fifth lesson, we are going to learn how to win friends.

To make people like you, there are few ways,

• Show a genuine interest – A person’s headache means more to her than a bomb blast that kills thousands of people.
• Be a good listener – listening to other person’s interests makes them feel important.
• Smile – Smiling is a powerful tool to win people.
• Remember names – A person’s name is really personal to him/ her. If you remember someone’s name you can become friends with him/her.

You should maintain friends and relationships in your work and personal life and in some instances, you win friends that made you get things done easily. You may have noticed your boss may be using these techniques. If you want to win friends and influence people, these techniques will help you to do so. Please share this with your friend who is struggling to make friends.

To buy the book “How to win friends and influence people”, written by Dale Carnegie, from Amazon, click here.

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